Satire: Potential 2011 State of the Union Address

We are getting close to plugging the hole in the Gulf of Mexico and let me make it clear; Seafood is over rated!

Phoenix Arizona is better governed by Mexican drug cartels and look at the bright side, it's cheaper this way AND can help to pay down some of the National debt, even though the run away Congress will never quit frivolous spending towards saving the Earth, but in due time when we do save the Earth, it can be funded by furthering the rationing of health care!

I know that the middle class is upset to the fact that their income taxes are now at 75% of their income, but at least they get a real high tech fancy dancy National ID card with their DNA in the card for it! How cool is that? I especially like the hologram!

And I know that you're upset because the National average utility bill is now only $950.00 a month, but you just have to learn how to conserve better or just work more and it will be okay, I promise, your attitude will make all of the difference!

Now if we can just spend another 1.5 Trillion dollar Stimulus package bill that has been introduced in the Congress, this time I will promise to you that the unemployment rate will not exceed 25%, I PROMISE! We are nearly there to make America into the Utopia that I had always dreamed about as a young boy growing up!

Now, in 2011 we will balance the budget this time by just eliminating the entire Military. Military's cost a fortune, attracts racists, angers other Nations and we just can't have a Military and Nationalized health care at the same time, but then we have to some how figure out how to pay for some new bail outs that my pals on Wall Street need, so that I can have enough campaign funds to get re elected in 2012. But DO NOT worry, because we have a Marxist think tank who will figure out how to solve this dilemma and eventually with an open budget, we will figure out what the budget should be to convince you that it is balanced while I go out on another golfing adventure. If we have to, I will just sell the Statue of Liberty to Shang Hai. That city has way better harbors there any ways and the Statue of Liberty would look really good in their modern high tech city that boasts all of the manufacturing jobs that the USA once had! Maybe if we included the Brooklyn Bridge, the Lincoln Memorial, the Seattle Space Needle and all of the artifacts in the Smithsonian, they will return the Hummer Manufacturing jobs to us to create an additional 10,000 jobs to catch up to the 35 Million job deficit that we currently have. It'll be great! We will definitely get a handle on this unemployment problem as our 3rd Most important priority instead of how in 2010 it was our last priority, because of Nationalized health care, cap and tax and that BP thing got in the way of my golfing and weekly concerts as well as all of those racists down there in Arizona complaining about the Mexican Drug cartels blowing them away. Maybe if everybody in Arizona wasn't so racist all the time then the Mexican Drug Cartels wouldn't want to shoot them up, but at any rate my Attorney General will keep them tied up in court for years to come so that we don't have to be distracted by those little people who don't really matter anymore and 2011 will be a much better year than 2010, for me.

Keep believing! Do NOT give up hope and always remember, it is Bushes fault and YES WE CAN!!!

YES WE CAN!!!

Good night America!